BY THE DISSOCIATED PRESS
CUPERTINO – Today Apple released plans for the next generation of it’s mobile operating system for iPhone, iPad and iPod. Breaking with tradition, the new software will not be named iOS X as everyone expects. Instead the new software will be known as iThink. Boasting the most advanced artificial intelligence system known to man, no longer will you have to ask Siri for help. The iThink software uses AppleMaps and context sensitive learning algorithms to ease the burdens of modern society for you. Facilities such as built in health monitoring measures your blood glucose and other metabolites constantly, then orders in your favorite foods even before you want them. Apple has also partnered with many leading universities to produce a wide array of new professional Apps available in the App Store, such as Lawyer, Doctor and Professor. These new Apps accelerate traditional educational training programs from years to mere hours through continuous microphone monitoring and new in-ear bluetooth speakers to provide answers to any possible client, patient or student query. Apple has promised to include facial recognition technology in future updates to detect emotions allowing the possibility of empathetic responses. Noted software mogul Mia Cratessed was excited to experience iThink and was quoted as saying the new Coder App will provide a major boost to productivity in her company, giving her programming staff the social skills necessary for group work.